5 Tips for a Random Hookup
Here're five must-see tips for navigating the murky world of random hookups. Whether you're a player or new to casual hookups, use these tricks to stay safe and have fun when you're looking for a random fling.
Just Go With it
Random hookups are, well, random - and that means that there can definitely be surprises in store for you and your partner. From knocking over kitchenware to embarrassing noises, random hookups can be tricky to navigate. Because, by definition, no one plans on having a random hookup, surprises can be right around the corner. Roommates, pets, embarrassing living situations are just the tip of the iceberg.
The most important part about any random hookup (even if you know the person you happen to be hooking up with very well) is to use protection. Without protection, that split second decision to have a random hookup could severely impact your future in unintended ways. It’s safe to say that most people are not looking to get pregnant from a random hookup, and that’s a good thing. But, it’s also very important to protect you and your partner from sexually transmitted diseases, even if you think you’re both clean. Later down the road, if a casual relationship or romance develops, you and your partner can decide to use or not use protection at your discretion. Remember though, for casual hookups, always use a condom.
Don’t Spend the Night
Your random hookup partner is not your friend, and they’re not your BFF, they’re someone that you have had a one-time casual hookup with, nothing more, nothing less. Spending the night not only encroaches on your new buddy’s space, but makes it appear like you’re looking for more than just a random hookup.
When two people sporadically engage in random sex, the intention is that there will be no strings attached - no expensive dates, no Facebook comments, and no bullshit. In order to preserve the integrity of the random hookup (and not look like you’re too needy) it’s critical to not spend the night during a one-time random hookup. Sure, you can stick around until 5 or 6 in the morning if things are still getting “hot’ - but please do make sure that you get out before the sunrise. Of course, if another opportunity arises to hook up again with this special someone, you can begin spending the night and becoming more involved with each other.
Don’t make hasty assumptions
You know what they say about assumptions - they make an ass out of you and me. Well, this couldn’t be truer with respect to random hookups. Chances are; you might find yourself hooking up with a complete stranger, or someone that you met online, in a bar, or even in a club. If you’ve only known someone for a few hours and have decided to have a random hookup with them, you might be prone to make assumptions - please don’t.
It's good not to speak negatively about anything. Especially when in the presence of your new hookup buddy, because hey, you’ve only known them a few hours and what you hate could be something they love. To avoid any embarrassing or awkward conversations make sure to keep things light, positive, and under no circumstances make any assumptions about your new partner.
Be mindful of roommates and pets
Random hook up logistics can be sticky, and roommates, pets, and other unforeseen complications can make it worse. Nothing is worse than barging into a home, hot and heavy, only to find conversation-happy overweight roommate playing Xbox in a scattered moat of Cheetos and dried semen. Trust me folks, when having a random hookup it’s best to go to whomever’s house isn’t occupied by roommates at the time. Better yet, take the hookup to a place outside the home altogether (easier when the weather is nice).
The second thing you need to be mindful of is pets. If you’re allergic to cats or dogs, well tough luck, but provided you're not sneezing everywhere, you should take care to be nice to animals at all times. Aggression towards animals is never sexy, so be sure to be found to those furry critters even if you’re not an animal person. Most importantly, make sure that you can hook up in a room and keep pesky cats or small dogs away from where everything is going down. Nothing is worse than a curious kitty or a happy dog trying to bite your ankles or otherwise get involved while you’re in the middle of a hookup.